so after a short sabbatical the blog is back up and running. Ok, I admit ,short might be the understatement of the year lol but atleast its back on track right? (yes, i chose a Starwars themed title because i secretly believe that I’m a Jedi – I possibly might sound obsessed with Starwars which quite likely is because I actually am. I’m a geek)
I can’t begin to tell you how glad I was that 2015 finally ended!! I think it’s safe to say it was a monstrous year. Thank GOD for friends like Mumtaz Moosa Saley who kept me sane and full of laughter. Please be sure to check out her new blog, Destination Guantanamo Bay. This woman is nothing short of brilliant. A true inspiration to a world filled with women who believe they can’t make a difference. Her blogs have touched the lives of many. I, personally, think she should be a speaker at Ted Talks.
Last year, a lot of this blog was based around singledom – yes, another term that means freedom- and the hilarious incidences of being part of an Indian Community over the age of 25. The crazy old ladies and most of all the sad crazy feelings of lonely girls.
This year, however, we hoping to have a face lift. Mostly I hope the blog retains its wit and humor. The posts will hopefully be funny and happy. No negativity unless the post actually requires that. Nevertheless, I have much to write and oh so little time…
I always thought that only old aunties were into the whole 3rd degree questioning on ‘when you getting married’ or ‘did you know Fatoo’s son is not married’. I recently discovered otherwise. Here’s what happened:
Towards the end of last year, a friend of mine put me in touch with one of his friends in an attempt to “set us up”. That really did sound sinister to me but I agreed anyway, I mean I’m not getting any younger right? After numerous whatsapp conversations it was safe to say this guy was great on paper and I definitely wanted to meet him. After what was the most awkward first meeting ever! like ever.. as in if there was an award for the most awkward interaction between 2 people in a public environment I’d win first prize. So i finally learnt that good on paper doesn’t mean good in person.
What is it with me and interacting with OLD people I’ll possibly never know but mostly that’s when things get interesting. So weeks later, I visited a friend who happened to have some elderly relatives over. These elderly relatives happened to have a cute son. After what felt like hours of conversing with Uncle Moosa, i felt as if i could finally let my guard down. After all the awkwardness of my last human interaction it felt like a breath of fresh air talking to someone who wasn’t being judgemental or so I thought.
“He seems too sweet to ask me anything” or so I thought. Just when i let my guard down he decided to drop the bomb or rather something that felt like a rapid fire grenade gun. It went something like this:
Uncle Moosa: “You know you have a very beautiful smile. It’s very calming”
Me,while smiling:” Jazakallah” (thank you)
Uncle Moosa: “tell me, where is your husband? did he drop you? You not wearing a ring?”
Me: “no, I’m not…”
Uncle Moosa: “ohh must be you not married but shame you have such a pretty face, why? any problem? Can’t find anyone? must tell me I know nice boys. Is it some other problem? you can’t have children? ” *with a shocked expression*
Me: *extreme look of shock* “what?”
Uncle Moosa: ” No no, I’m sure its not that. You are so young. Just get married now can’t wait too long to have children, you know. Times going..
Wait, wait. Ebrahim come here!!”
All the while I’m sitting there in utter disbelief. Did I just get asked if I was infertile??? and was I just told that it was a shame that I had a pretty face. In what universe is that a shame?
Basically what happened next involved Ebrahim giving me a number of his friend who i was told to contact as he also could not get married. At this point I was so angry that my words were harsh and blunt and its highly likely that Uncle Moosa’s son, Ebrahim will never speak to me ever again..
“If he’s such a great guy why don’t you marry him”
It definitely wasn’t one of my prouder moments. In fact, I did later apologise but naturally didn’t get a response which i actually didn’t expect. Contrary to what i thought, it wasn’t limited to Old Ladies but Old people in general ask the most inappropriate questions without giving you the option to respond. Sorta like how old people sometimes question people who have come from far, this is specific to old Indian people. In fact, they both ask and ANSWER their own questions in on breathe without giving you an opportunity to respond.
“When you came? Today
with you? you parents
how did you come? by car ” lol
Yes, I love Old people. They have the ability to warm your heart, make you want to kill them and possible leave you rolling on the floor with laughter all in a span of a mere 15 minutes.
Nevertheless, my time’s up. Keep a look out for the next post possible about brains, brawn and all things gym…